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Ay, wistfully sighing in spanish this morning, I realised that I only have one week left in Madrid before I have to return to Atlanta, and I have mixed emotions about it. On the one hand, I am having such a marvellous time here, and my friends and family are threatening to kidnap me if it ever come to my mind to go back, and there is Pipa to think of, who is going to munch on my hair in America? On the other hand, I want to see what else USA has to offer, and did I tell you I am going to Vegas?

As my time is running out, I believe tis is time to clarify some stereotypes about Spaniards that are circulating in the minds of the  mainstream public. If you did not know, Spain is also known as Bull Skin, tis fancy name comes from the similarities in my countries´orography to the skin of one of those beasts when spread out in a random surface. Here we go:

  1. We do not imbibe on sangría all the time. Sometimes we sleep too.
  2. We are not Mexican.
  3. Our system of transportation does not only consist of the scarce ride in a donkey. The wealthy ride a mule.
  4. We do not party all the time. See one.
  5. We do not go to work dancing flamenco. We only do it in special occasions/days of obligation.
  6. We are European. See two.
  7. All our men are not fat,dark-skinned, short and hairy. Some of them are fat, short and hairy, but white.
  8. I believe I have not stressed this point enough, we are NOT Mexican.
  9. We are not fighting bulls all day long. We do it on our spare time.
  10. We love our spanish tortilla, when cooked in the right manner. Once in Stockholm, we went to a supposed spanish restaurant, and what they called tortilla, was a mixture of strange and really odd looking yellow eggs, with boiled potatoes placed over them, and something green, that I have not the foggiest idea of what was it, on top.
  11. We are not lazy, we just want to have siesta once in a while. By the way, we are the country that has the longest working hours in Europe, therefore we are entitled to our siestas, and the Authorities say they are good for the soul,and for our health too.
  12. We were the masters of the known world in the 16th century, so what? Now we are the masters of fiestas.
  13. We are not unpunctual, we are worthy of waiting for.
  14. We do not shout all the time, we just talk really loud.
  15. What is the matter with giving two kisses to greet someone? We are generous,easygoing and lovable.
  16. The letter “ñ” should not be pronounced if you do not know how to do it, leave it to the experts, us.
  17. When we fall in love, guitar music and Paco de Lucía, do not appear in the background.
  18. We do not live as they do in the soap operas. I wish!
  19. We DO have the most beautiful women in the world.
  20. We DO speak other languages beside our mother one, the Spanglish is highly appreciated and spoken by the vast majority of my fellow compatriots.

PS: If you can come with another convention than needs its refutation, feel free to say it, I will try my best.