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Beware because I am about to make one of the lamest jokes you have ever heard in your life. This weekend we went to Cornwall and that is what this title is all about. I know, sheer hilarious comedy genius at its best.

Well, we had a pretty surrealistic welcome to the Sea Side so I thought a touch of humor would not be amiss.

It was 1 AM, it was foggy, it was dark. We arrived at the Bed and Breakfast and no light was on. We tried the door, and it was open. We entered the foyer and it was deserted, we started to say – Hello, is anyone in there (yep, the typical phrase you say before the bad guy kills you in horror movies) and we could hear a faint whisper saying, – In here, in here.

Passed the reception area, there was a door, and behind that door we could hear the dulcet tones of the owner. The B & B was run by your typical British old lady. She was tucked inside her bed, all white hair and fragile appearance. The first thing she asked us was – Which is your room number? We, of course, had no idea. Then, she mumbled,  – Oh, you are the ones with the dog. And we told her – Eh no, we aren’t. Afterwards she asked again, – Oh, the ones with the little girl then?, and we replied – No, actually we just needed a room for three adults.

Oh, she said, yes, yes ( I could imagine an eureka forming in the wheels of her tainted by age mind)

– It is room number 4, you can take the keys.

As she did not tell us where the keys were, we tried unsuccessfully to find them. – Excuse M ‘am but we cannot find them; Dani, my brother-in-law told her.

She exclaimed, – Oh Dear! in the most British manner possible, and started to climb out of her bed. Dani had the chance of seeing a considerable amount of leg while she was hiking up her skirts to get up, I was not that lucky.

Finally, I found them before she finished getting out of the realm of her chambers, so we went up the stairs to our room.

The furniture was a mixture between pieces coming form the Dynasty Series and items from the Little house on the Prairie, with floral coverlets, draped curtains, even the armoire that brings you to Narnia was in there.

There was a door and we supposed it would open to the bathroom. Indeed it was, but it was not empty, there was a dog inside, and all the barking in the dark confinement almost gave the three of us a heart attack. We jumped out of our skin and then a ghastly faced woman in her night-gown also appeared.

The next day, while having breakfast we discovered that the room next to us was occupied by a married couple, their little girl and their small dog. Mystery solved!

It was a great trip nonetheless, with a lot of funny stories as the one above. The landscapes in Cornwall are absolutely and utterly beautiful, and if you are an enamoured of Romanticism as I am myself, you can see the sublime of nature in the vast of the Ocean that artists like Friedrich captured in their works; and if you are lucky enough, you can even sunbathe on the beach, in England!

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